so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
