That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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