Jerry, you need to find god
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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