She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
