Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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