who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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