Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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