So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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