I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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