Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
