i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
