i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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