i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
