We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
