I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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