so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am midnight drunk by noon
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
