I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
