If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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