I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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