You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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