She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize