My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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