She went from zero to smokin in five shots
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
