Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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