1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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