I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
