Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
