Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
