Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
