wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize