She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
