In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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