my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
