If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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