She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
