Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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