Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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