Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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