That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
