Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
