Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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