dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
