I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
