I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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