i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
