thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So vagazzling was a success
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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