He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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