this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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