You can't special order awesome
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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