what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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