After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
