i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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