I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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