i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
