whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
