she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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