Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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