So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
