Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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