I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
